I got distracted halfway through posting last weeks Fights comic, so here’s two. Blathering after.
Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck
I had a weird week. Hard, let’s say, rather than bad, because I feel alright at the end of it. I have been sending out JepComix 8 to reviewers, and encouraging stores to carry it. You can find a copy, more than likely, at The Beguiling or Page and Panel, both in Toronto. Out of towns get mailed tomorrow. I also tried to place it in the East End’s best little comic shop, The Sidekick Cafe, and just … ruined it.
I was a little anxious heading there, because I had written them and gotten no response. But I went in, trying to feel positive, and everyone was dressed in Halloween costumes. Immediately I was thrown off (we’re all on the spectrum somewhere, right? I hate costumes.). I went to the cash, where a Human inside a Panda Bear said Hi, and I said, “Hi! Do you take comics on consignment?”
What I MEANT to say was “Hi, I’m a local cartoonist.” and hold up the book, and ask if they ever stocked stuff by local artists. Perhaps even compliment their shop - it’s really well curated. But no. I just asked a yes or no question - and when she replied “No, we only buy them outright.” I said “Okay,” and walked away.
I was ten feet away before I realized that wasn’t even a soft No. It could have meant “Show me your shit”, but I was too high strung to even hear her. And when I clued in, I felt so stupid, I couldn’t bring myself to turn around.
I yelled angrily in the car on the way home, just noises, no words. AHHHH! I drive myself crazy. I know how to do these things: rehearse a bit, visualize it going well, consider possible responses. But I get nervous and I forget all helpful tips, and just barrel and bash my way through shit, and WRECK it.
I’ll go back when the next comic comes out (later this year), or if I get accepted to TCAF. I can’t go now. And here I am again at this theme that’s all over the place: I gotta make more lists. The one I should have consulted before going in will be called “How to Ask for Things of Strangers”. Smile. Go in calm. Have a plan. Get Better at things. Etc.